Valentine’s Day Jokes

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If you are looking for a few good laughs on Valentine's Day, then some Valentine's Day jokes are just right for you. Laughter is always a good medicine and bet you know it. So if you are trying to bridge a gap with someone you love this Valentine's Day, try doing it with a few jokes. The Valentine's Day jokes are a unique blend of love and fun and will surely make your beloved laugh, grin and smile. And if you are nursing a broken heart, then shun those tears because the Valentine's Day jokes are here to cheer up all troubled souls. Celebrate loving yourself on Valentine's Day with the help of these Valentine's Day jokes. Valentine's Day is a day to be happy, to feel loved and pampered. So spread the joy around with the help of these jokes listed below.

Shocking Love :

A little girl asked her grandpa if it would be very wrong of her to send a card to Osama on Valentine's Day. The old man was visibly shocked and asked her why she wanted to do so.
“If I send him a card on Valentine's Day, then he might think that I am not bad, and that little kids are not bad. So he might stop hating us and gradually stop hating others and also stop killing. Then he can come to us and say that he loves us” replied the little girl.
Her grandpa was really touched by this thought of his granddaughter and went to give her an appreciative hug, just when she said: “then when he comes out in the open, the army can shoot him !”

Business as Usual :

At the post office Roger noticed a middle aged, stout and bald man with many heart-shaped envelopes. He was sticking ‘love’ stamps on each envelope and was spraying them with perfume. Obviously curious, Roger went up to him and asked him what he was doing. With a big grin, the man replied: “I'm sending 5000 Valentine’s Day cards signed “guess who”. Roger was taken aback—“But why on earth ?” The man replied—“You see I'm a divorce lawyer !”

Chocolaty Wish :

Six year old Sandy and her mom Julia both loved chocolates. On Valentine's Day, Sandy and her dad gave Julia a big box of chocolates. After a few days, Sandy began to eye the chocolates, hoping to pop a few when no one was looking. She quietly got into the kitchen and just as she was about to reach for the box, her mom said, “If you touch it you have to eat it.” Sandy’s eyes lit up and she patted her hands over all the chocolates. “Does that mean I get to eat it all now ?”

Some Crazy Valentine's Day One-Liners:

“Did I tell you about that wonderful beaded dress I almost bought for you ? But then I thought you’ll look great without it, just the same.”

“This restaurant’s terrible, but it was the only place offering 50% off on Valentine's Day dinner, so I had to bring you here.”

“I know you don’t eat stuff with faces, that’s why I ordered turkey legs.”

“It’s been much better ever since I accepted that my Valentine's Day dates would never be smart.”

“My ex and I came here for our first date. Isn’t that nostalgic ?”

“Weren’t you the geekiest person in college ? How did you do a makeover ?”

“Oh ! You’re having that ? Excuse me, got to run to the ATM.”

“Thank god I listened to my friends, or else I would never have called you back.”

You can't predict when knowing something extra about Valentine’s-Day-Jokes will come in handy.